Broken heart

I feel empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. I don't want to laugh, because I know it's not going to help, but I don't want to cry, because it will just make me feel worse. I feel like my heart is falling apart, but not only that, but I know soon my life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. I don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to me, it feels impossible to stop loving him. And everyone wonders why if he hes hurt me so much, then why do I still love him. That's the confusing part, I don't know why, I just do, and the people who hurt me the most, are normally the ones I love the most.

And then, after a few weeks, I finally feel a sense of relief, like I'm getting happy again, but I know inside that I'm just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, I'm back to where I was an empty soul and teary eyes. I thought I got over him, but really, I just stopped showing it. And I can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on my heart that are there forever. And no one understands how I feel, and how deep I am hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different.

They don't know the true pain I feel and carry each and everyday now, so I learn that basically I am alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm me, and suddenly I just break down, right there, because I know I've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and I'm to the point where I don't care who see's. Because I've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, I know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring him back, if I ever even had him in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, I finally pull myself back together and keep going. My throat starts to clench and my eyes burn with the tears I'm trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But I know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And I look back on all of the hurt I had from this, and I realize that people are horrible. I'm still hurt, but I've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks I am okay. So now every time I see this person, I know I still love him, and I feel a slight tingle in my heart yearning for him to love me, screaming out, but for some reason he doesn't hear it. And then I sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this..

A cute proposal

The sunlight crept up through my curtains and worked its way up my bed, hitting my face. I woke up with a very relaxing and excited mind.

"Good morning sweetheart", I wished myself. Hoped it would be an eventful day.Just then I recalled that I had to go out with one of my friends as he had asked for and I had assured.

Pulled my blanket aside,jumped up and tip toed to my bathroom. I took a quick shower and wrapped my towel around me tightly, and walked to my closet. I pulled out a violet colored gown and taught it would look amazing for the day and put it on.I combed my tresses and let it freely flow on my shoulders. I finally put on my dark black eye liner and my shiny lip gloss. It just looked perfect for the day, and I absolutely loved it.My phone went off, and I rushed to answer it.

"Hey gal, Are you geared up to start off the day", he muttered.

"Yes" , I smirked

"Well be in the corner, in about five minutes", he said.

"Kay, meet you out there" I whispered, and hung up.

Once my feet hit the ground, and duffel bag in my hand I was off and walking towards the corner of the road.Once I reached the corner, I caught a glimpse of a light blue Swift on the other side of a highly jammed road. I was alarmed by my call and saw someone waving at me from that Swift. I agnized that it was my friend who was waiting for me.It took almost all my vigour to cross that road and slid into the four wheeler. I got in and as I tried to close the door my violet gown which flew freely around my legs stuck between the car doors.

"Oh no" , I muttered under my breath.

"Can I lend you a hand", he grinned.

"Thanks, I can help myself", I said and cursed the car doors.

"So, where are we heading" , I demanded.

"Its a surprise dear and make yourself cozy", he answered and I earned a smile.

As we were on the way the thought of not knowing where we were headed made me groan at him. I was just all perplexed about what was happening until his voice entered my ears.

"Don't look so baffled, everything is gonna be fine, I promise", he said .I spun around and smiled plainly at him.

At last I sensed the Wheels stopping. He opened the door for me and I slid out of the car and my eyes widened with excitement and felt it was a picturesque spot, far away from the mad rush and camp beneath the stars.We were surrounded by wide open spaces,dramatic cliffs, infinite fields of coffee trees, fantastically relaxed atmosphere.The warm atmosphere of the town, bathed in golden sunlight during the day and filled with fog and tiny water droplets at night, made the place an ideal spot to spend passionate time with their loved ones. I was still baffled on Why I was there.

As I was en-wrapped in the beauty of the place I heard a savoring voice calling my name. I spun around and for a moment didn't understand what happened. The next moment I was in his arms looking into his eyes and hearing these beautiful lines from him........

I awake each day with a smile
And greet it with a laugh;
The world is a treasure to me
Because of you.

Every time I think of something sad,
I replace the thought- with you!
My mind is instantly changed
And my heart is filled with gladness.

Every breath I take is meant for you,
I live this life surrounded in joy
And I bathe in the promise of your love,
My soul belongs to you.

Each time I see something beautiful
I want to take it and bring it to you;
My life has so much meaning now
All because of you.

Just then he wrapped my eyes with his hands and guided me a few steps forward. As I opened my eyes I saw a huge bunch of fragrant, fragile, red roses and some wine around. He took My hand, kissed it ,and handed over a bouquet and sighed " I LOVE YOU ", my life.

Long Longing!! (Part-2)

The rain took off and made the journey more memorable and admirable. A bead of tear trickled down her cheeks. She was not lucid about her feelings.

"Can I hug him as soon as I get to meet?"

"What is the first thing I should talk to him?"

"How should I react or how will I react?"

"Am i finally gonna meet him?"

"Would he still look the same?"

"How would he react?"

"Am I looking fine?"

"What would be the first thing he would say?"

these and many more were the thoughts that were swaying in her mind.

The phone interrupted her thoughts.

"Hello", she talked in a low tone.

"Hey dear where are you?"

"On my way, I may be there within another 15 mins".

 "Fine take your time and drive safe".

 "Sure dear, catch u up soon", she says and disconnected the call.

Finally she arrived in front of the coffee day. She got down from the cab and thanked the driver for driving safely. She was a bit panicky but very commoved to meet him. She took a long gasp and looked around for him. A sense of happiness engulfed her as soon as she saw him and started walking briskly towards him. She couldn't believe her own eyes.

"Man you are finally here", she whispered to herself.

She hoped the whole world around her stopped just there and she could gaze at him to the fullest. Both were totally out of words and just stared at each other for few minutes.

"Love....", her voice comes in a hoarse whisper as soon as her  eyes confirmed his presence.

She started blushing when he looked into her eyes and helped her hand in his.

She mutters,  every day I made that one special wish. Can u guess what is it?

Someday I hoped to see you again.

"And here I am" :) ^_^

Note: I haven't divulged her name at all.. Do u wanna know?? Here it goes... Ananya is her name....

Long Longing!! (Part- 1)

So someone's love has gone off on a long and dangerous journey: to sea, to war, to find their meaning, something along those lines. She promises to wait for him, right where she is, until he returns. How long could it be? she has no idea.

The day for her awaiting had arrived.  He was returning after two long years. She was frightened by the long. long nights. Prayed to the distant stars for his safe return. She was not full of hopes, as she taught its too long for anticipating him to still be the same. But still she was very emotional and felicitous about meeting her love of life. Eventually the day arrived and they planned to meet up at dusk after her work.

It was a pleasant Wednesday. She looked into the mirror for the final time and admired herself before leaving.
"Hey I look cool and elegant, guess can make a move now".

"Bye mom, I am off for the day".

She could sense the happiness in her inner soul and felt glad. She could feel violins playing around her all day. Every sec she felt like dancing with delight. The whole world around her had switched.

As she made her way along the road the cool winds which blew over her skin put a chill in her body . The scent of love was filled in the air. The warm atmosphere of the town, bathed in golden sunlight made the day. She could hear all the trees greeting her and dancing for the tunes of her heart, all the birds tweed-ling and every other person smiling at her. Of a sudden the world had become zingy. She palpated a charm in her face which was not witnesses earlier. She needed his love as the night needed morning.

But still somewhere at the pit of her stomach she was still a bit baffled. The whole day at work, she was full of beans and tried to complete her work ASAP as her thoughts were invaded by him. It was now time for her to kick off to meet him.

"Hi Akash, could I leave a bit early today", she called for.

Akash mumbled,  "Why?"

"I have an important appointment with the doc",she lied

"Oh is it, fine then you can carry on and take care.", answered akash.

Soon then she stepped out and got into the cab and started off from office. The weather seemed so enjoyable. On the spur of the moment her mind switched to the days they spent together. They were so wonderful. Its kinda funny, How life can change. Can flip 180 in a matta of days.

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…just be an illusion. , She sighs.